I was blog hopping again and saw this from one of my very favorite blogs.  There is no reason on earth to not repost it here.  It is totally and completely true. 

I can't help it.  I am helpless.  It changes me.

"I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time--waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God--it changes me." -C.S. Lewis

Gentle Rain

I have been quite used to walking under the moonlight towards the bus stop lately after work. I look forward to it actually. Today was different though because the moon is hiding, instead there is a gentle sprinkling of rain. I walked in it, under a pink umbrella that smelled of my spilled cologned. I walked in the rain, nothing romantic like how Gil Pender feels. Just me, leisurely walking with my pants' hem kissed by the puddles along the way.

I do not particularly like rain but today was different. I might just learn to like it - probably.

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Sunday Message

Service was extra good today!  I knew God was talking to me again, reminding me that His plans are so much better than I want things to be.  I realized that as much as I trust Him, I still want things to go my way and when it doesn't pan out, I go crazy.  I guess we are all wired that way.  It is something I should really work on - trusting Him with all my heart and just blindly letting go because He does not need my help.  Only by completely trusting Him will we be delivered from all our fears.  His will be done!

Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails. - Proverbs 19:21

Pastor Richard reminded us that God manifests and intervenes even in the impossible situations to accomplish His sovereign plan.   All of our grumbling and complaining doesn’t get God to give us what we think we want.  It is always going to be His will that triumphs.  It is never our way but always God’s way. So in all situations – WORSHIP.  He is always with us, good times and bad.

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. - 1 Peter 5:7

#KONY2012

Yesterday Chai asked me about what the KONY2012 hashtag everywhere was all about.  I was at work for more than 18 hours so really I have no idea what it was.  So since it is the time of google and loads of information at the tip of our fingers, she searched and found the most wonderful, gripping and heartbreaking video I have seen lately.

After watching, I had to just post it too.  This morning I read that for some reason this was a hoax and that though it is really happening, the campaign was some sort of scam to get money from people.  An idea that if true is just as saddening as the whole video.

Well, scam or not.  We should all take part in trying to make this world a safer place for the future generation.  There will always be something that we can do, even if it is just posting this video on our pages to make Joseph Kony famous.

2 things. Lately...

1.  I have been whiny, I apologize.   I catch myself vomiting all this emotional garbage when I am not hiding behind the shadows of reading and movies and tumblr.  Truth is I don’t like this  version of myself.  I would rather sleep than deal and be this way.  I wish I can sleep all these away. 

2.  The little pockets of time.  Those stolen moments amidst the busy.  The moments when I slip out of the war zone and breathe and laugh a little – if I can.  Those are the things I am thankful for. 

To be fixed.

Running dangerously low on hope lately it is crazy. I have always thought that if I have a word, it will be HOPEFUL. So this is just majorly sucky that I am feeling this way. I imagine my heart animatedly rotting inside of my chest because of all the bitterness and resentment I have been feeling towards pretty much half of mankind right now. A heart beaten down, taped up colored by different shades of grey. Not a pretty sight. Believe me, I don't want that heart. I do not want an ugly bitter heart but I have to be honest with myself that that is what I have right now.


Fact is, I am unhappy and there is nothing else I could do about this except pray it up. I wasn’t exactly a model daughter to our Almighty Father these days, but the beauty of it all is that I didn’t have to be. I lit 4 candles today and I talked to Him about my heartache and my stupid thought that I could fix it all by my lonesome self. I can’t. I confessed that I cannot and that my broken self need Him to step in and fix it for me. So, I am lifting it all up now. All of it.

PASINAYA 2012

Yesterday, my sisters and I went to Cultural Center of the Philippines to take part of the PASINAYA 2012 Festival.  The reason we decided to go to CCP is because our nephew is part of Xavier Stage and invited us to watch New Yorker in Burgos to be played that day.  When we looked up what might be in store for us when we get there, we got really excited but we never anticipated that it will be so much fun! 

We were on location at about 11am and left just after we saw Philippine Philharmonic Orchestra at the main theater. The registration cost Php 20 which was unbelievable!  We got to see 2 theater plays, 1 dance performace, an exhibit and the PPO.  Amazing, no?  Granted that the lines everywhere were incredibly long and it was a bit hot due to the large number of people running around but it's all worth it.   Truth -  it is kind of wonderful seeing kids lining up to see the Philippine Madrigal singers or the PPO.


Here are some pictures from that awesome day.

Good Saturday

Just have to say that today was a real good day! Good days are so rare lately that when one turns such, I am kinda taken aback. Nonetheless, here is the list of things that made my day great.

- No-show skin doctor was to be thanked because it gave me time to bargain hunt in the Eastwood bazaar and get new dresses.

- Too much time before I meet my sister, I pointlessly wandered Cubao Expo. In and out the little shops buying nothing.

- Music during commute. Literal life saver.

- Facial. need I say more?

- Total me-time. I had lunch with myself. Did some reading too.

- Dark chocolate cream chip frap blended whip.

- Cheesy movie with sister.

- shampoo shopping and other stuff for hair.

- texting and making plans for tomorrow with sisters.

I am really thankful for the little things.

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good stuff

With all the things thats falling apart around me, Noel said that I should let myself cry but still focus on life's positive stuff. So that is what I will do today.   I will zoom in on those little things that went right this week for me.

- my new and really nice dentist Dr. Mary Ann Dee
- reconnected with an old friend
- bargain finds
- salon visits
- impromptu breakfast chats with Noni
- quick visit with Marl that turns to really fun chica session with his team
- my enjoy card finally got delivered

For these little things, I am thankful because if you think about it, small things pile up. Small things count!

Sent from my iPod

broken spirit.

Life is not fair.  I know that.  Every other movie said it, I've read it thousands and thousands of times yet when life is actually manifesting this - I am still caught off guard.

I always thought that if you play by the rules,  give it your best and work really hard,  you will be fruitful and fulfilled.  It is not always the case and when the awful thing of inequity is happening not only right in front of you but at you..  well,  it kinda sucks!  No, let me correct that statement - it magnanimously stink from here to China.

I am tired and heartbroken.  Mostly broken.  Oh, and really sleepy.

Sent from my iPod