...like you’re losing grip on a part of your life when you’re finally able to get another part of it under control and you’re all happy about it?

I always feel that.  Sometimes, when everything starts to go okay, I find myself uneasy. Anxious and kind of wondering which part will fall apart next.

Why do you think that is?  Am just wondering...

Sobrang init grabe! ..I think my brain is already fried.

Words

Been thinking alot about words lately. how powerful they are.  How beautiful it can be if chosen carefully and grouped with the right kind.  How easily it can be misinterpreted and how deeply it can hurt.

CERULEAN, GRUNGE, PERIWINKLE, FINICKY, and CONVICTION are just some of my favorite words.  Conviction seems so serious and personal while Periwinkle is so whimsical.  Finicky sounds interesting and grunge sounds too cool to me. hehehe.  I like how cerulean rolls out of my mouth when i say it.

I dont like the word hate and indifferent.  The first one is too harsh while the other seems too blah. hahaha.

But of all the words, I think WHOLEHEARTED is the one i love most.   I just like it.  It sounds so positive and happy.  It sounds good too.  Wholehearted. Makes me smile.

So, what would be your favorite or not so favorite word? :P

Ways to Know if You're Growing Up

One of my favorite blogs to read is The Wild and Wily Ways of a Brunette Bombshell.  In her archives, she posted an entry entitled 9 ways I know I'm growing uP.  It Caught my attention because the first one was, 1. I've given up soda. Not entirely, but almost.  I love it.  I shared this with a friend who also liked the post and asked me what would be my 9 ways. As usual it made me think.  Wala akong maisip kahit isa.  I’m resigned to the idea that I may not be grown up yet.  I have a lot more growing up to do I guess.  A LOT MORE!

But this wonderful friend that I have amazingly wrote his 9 Ways in less than 6 mins.  Grabe noh?!  After he finishes typing his answers isa lang ang nasabi ko: shet grown-up ka na nga!  With his permission.. Instead of mine, I am posting HIS 9 Ways he knows he's growing up.

1. I become more realistic than idealistic
2. I become less self-conscious
3. I only mind people who matter
4. I learn to forgive
5. I let go of my convictions if I'm given a more logical reason to believe otherwise
6. I gave up my vices- soda, cigs, pork, beef.  Meaning I live a lot healthier with proper diet and exercise
7.  I spend less on clothes and more on things that will enrich my experience like traveling
8. I earn more and get to share more
9. I laugh at my old self and realize how I like what I have become over the years.

And so.. while I type this, hindi pa rin ako nakakaisip but I am not  in a hurry.  I wish i could answer the question as fast as he can.  Pero hindi I can't eh.  Not yet, i guess.  But It'll come to me.  I know it.

mygirls

our very first picture together. 

after teriyaki boy in Glorietta.

Our mall. 

First day today.

Wasn't as bad as i expected it to be.

 pero sad pa din. 

 I missed you girls.

sobra.

hugs.

Self-Portrait

Self-portrait
1. a representation of an artist, drawn, painted, photographed, or sculpted by the artist.
2. a verbal picture or description, especially of a person.

This is pretty much who I am at 25, defined by what I enjoy and what I always have lying around me.  Me in just everyday stuff that I know may be trivial sa iba, but is important to me.  These are not just stuff but symbols that try to characterize who and why and what I am.



Now let me explain why..

I can't leave home without water. Weird, but I always worry what will happen if I'm riding the bus going to or from the office, and I am really really thirsty or masamid ako.. i gotta have water dba? haha

I bought this heart pendant 4 years ago.. its one of the stuff i got for myself with my first pay.  I wear it everyday and I'm glad i got it.  The yabang pinoy band, I really love.  I don't go out without it now.  My first one was given by Clang and I have another by Jen. We all must be proud to be Pinoys. :)

my notebooks! I have loved writing, doodling, scribbling since forever.  I like collecting them.  I always have a notebook at hand.  When i was in HS, Kaye and I have this notebook that we pass back and forth during class.  Pag may nakabasa nun, patay! hahaha. The one on top is the notebook i got with Z and clang, the 2 colorful ones were Old Navy notebooks given to me by Kaye.  I think she got this from the states. and the one with banig cover is my scarpbook.  Filled with notes, receipts and pictures.

these are just some of the movies that i can watch over and over and over.  Some are like super old flicks that still makes me laugh so hard and those that make me cry like a baby.  Although, may nagsabi saken.. na lahat naman iniiyakan ko eh.. which is true. My best friend's wedding is my all time favorite of course.  I still get teary-eyed at the part of the movie when Jules told Michael that she had loved him for 9 god-damned years.  I still go aww when Michael told Jules that he is Crazy Jealous of George. I love Jules. :)  "Creme brulee can never be Jello, YOU can never be Jello." and of course.. White Chicks! hahaha. feeling ko gasgas na dvd ko.

i love books.  These are just a few of my latest acquisition.  I love the feeling of going to a bookstore and finding a good book.  I love the smell of it and i can almost hear the spine crack when you first open it. haha. Weird ba?

now this is patti, my laptop.   I have always wanted to get one in pink and last year i was able to buy it.  When i first saw her, i just knew i have to get her.  it took about 10 mins for me to decide that am getting her. hahaha.  She's pink and pretty.  One of my greatest buys of 2008!  do you like my wallpaper?  I know i do!  I'm inlove with Chuck.  Blair I like too.  GG makes me rush home during Tue mornings.

and of course, Bikoy my phone. I love the fact that i am able to do and keep tons of stuff with it.  make Phone calls and send text messages are the things i always always do.  I love the fact that some of the my year' greatest moment were captured on camera by Bikoy and that 6a everyday, I can listen to Chico and Del and listen to all of my fave mp3s with it too.  I can even check my mail, if patti's unavailable.



"Take the time to come home to yourself every day.  ~Robin Casarjean"

short hair

i'm reading Ala Paredes' blog and  I love this article that she read and posted.  I googled it.  I'm posting it here now.

ON SHORT HAIR (c1988)
from American(?) Vogue
by Joan Juliet Buck

Joan Juliet Buck, a devoted short-hair convert, explains why it makes a difference.


Hair is time.


Women with short hair always look as if they have somewhere else to go. Women with long hair tend to look as if they belong where they are, especially in California. Short hair takes a short time. Long hair takes a long time. Long hair moves faster than short hair. Long hair tells men that you are all woman, or a real woman, or at the very least a girl. Short hair always makes them wonder. Short hair makes children ask each other --usually at the school-yard gate, when parents are late-- "Are you a boy or girl?" Men married to women with short hair should not have affairs with women who have long hair kept up with many little pins and combs. Once you have cut your hair you have to remember to wear lipstick, but you can put away the brush, elastics, and the black barrettes in the form of shiny leaves with rhinestone hearts. When you cut your hair you lose a nose and gain a neck. A neck is generally better than a nose. It does not need to be powdered, except on extreme occasions. It does, however, need to be washed more often.


With short hair you suddenly dislike the month of March, when the wind blows down the back of your neck. With short hair you begin to crave pearl necklaces, long earrings, and a variety of sunglasses. And you brush your teeth more often. Short hair removes obvious femininity and replaces it with style. When it starts growing out a little and losing its style, you have to wear sunglasses until you can get it to the hairdresser. That's why you need a variety. Short hair makes you aware of subtraction as style. You can no longer wear puffed sleeves or ruffles; the neat is suddenly preferable to the fussy. You eye the tweezers instead of the blusher. What else can you take away? You can't hide behind short hair. Your nape is exposed. Men put their hands around your neck instead of stroking your long locks. You can only pray they have friendly intentions. The backs of your ears show, your jaw line is clear to anyone watching, and you realize --perhaps for the first time-- how wide the expanse of skin is between cheekbone and ear.


You may look a little androgynous, a little unfinished, a little bare. You will look elegant, as short hair requires you to keep your weight slightly below acceptable levels. However, the first time you wear a bathing suit with short hair, you will feel exceptionally naked. People who used to look straight at you will love you in profile. Short hair makes others think you have good bones, determination, and an agenda. The shape of your skull is commented on, so are its contents. They can pick you out in a crowd, and you can be recognized from behind, which can be good or bad. But your face is no longer a flat screen surrounded by a curtain: the world sees you in three dimensions.


Chase to the cut.


I used to have really long hair.  AS in.. hanggang pwet, but this was really long ago.  I started cutting it short grade six.  From that long, pinagupit ko hanggang chin.  that short! i remember nagulat mga classmates ko.. hahaha. Walang pakialaman dba! PArang ako din nagulat how short it was, and then i realized i liked it better.   Its easier to wear and magaan. High school, i started growing it again but never to that length.  Always shoulder length or just below.  Layers, i love.

Grade 9 i cut it short again.  I felt lighter.  Ang gaan ng feeling. Kaya until now, i always cut it short.  Its easier to fix.  Wash and wear.  Especially saken, i rarely fix my hair.  Kaya ko mag-clip ng walang brush and mirror. hahaha.  Its a talent or sadjang tamad lng ako. hahaha.

Now my hair's getting longer na ulit.  Grabe, mahaba na sha at magulo.  Next week, swear papagupit na ko.

Books.Books.Books.

i was browsing Ala Paredes' blog... I love it.  I love her, she's real!  Napadpad ako sa blog http://katmayo.blogspot.com/ where she has a post of Angus & Robertson's top 100 books of all time.  I just wanted to pass it on..

Out of 100 I only read 15.. does this mean i have to read more? hahaha.  I highlighted the books i got my hands on..  there are books i read this year that is not on this list.. kaya i guess.. quits lng!  hahaha.

1 Harry Potter series - J.K. Rowling 
2 Twilight - Stephenie Meyer -   Edward, my heart is yours forever!  I swoon everytime i read your name. Edward is love. ♥ 
3 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen  one of my favorites!  Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth why not?!  Kiligs.
4 The Obernewtyn Chronicles - Isobelle Carmody
5 My Sister's Keeper - Jodi Picoult
6 To Kill A Mockingbird - Harper Lee - makes me cry padin.. I've read this over and over!
7 The Book Thief - Markus Zusak
8 Breath - Tim Winton
9 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
10 Break No Bones - Kathy Reichs
11 The Power Of One - Bryce Courtenay
12 Fight Club - Chuck Palahniuk
13 Magician - Raymond E. Feist
14 The Bronze Horseman - Paullina Simons
15 Mao's Last Dancer - Li Cunxin
16 Memoirs Of A Geisha - Arthur Golden
17 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
18 Cross - James Patterson
19 Persuasion - Jane Austen
20 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
21 The Time Traveler's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
22 The Secret - Rhonda Byrne
23 Marley and Me - John Grogan
24 Antony and Cleopatra - Colleen McCullough
25 April Fools Day - Bryce Courtney
26 North & South - Elizabeth Gaskell
27 In My Skin - Kate Holden
28 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
29 A Thousand Splendid Suns - Khaled Hosseini
30 The Other Boleyn Girl - Phillipa Gregory
31 Nineteen Minutes - Jodi Picoult
32 Atonement - Ian McEwan
33 Shantaram Gregory - David Roberts
34 Pillars Of The Earth - Ken Follett
35 The Pact - Jodi Picoult
36 Ice Station - Matthew Reilly
37 Cloudstreet - Tim Winton
38 Jessica - Bryce Courtenay
39 A New Earth - Eckhart Tolle
40 The Princess Bride - William Goldman
41 Running With Scissors - Augusten Burroughs
42 Anybody Out There? - Marian Keyes
43 Life Of Pi - Yann Martel
44 Seven Ancient Wonders - Matthew Reilly
45 People Of The Book - Geraldine Brooks
46 Six Sacred Stones - Matthew Reilly
47 Memory Keeper's Daughter - Kim Edwards
48 Brother Odd - Dean Koontz
49 Tully - Paullina Simons
50 Tuesdays with Morrie - Mitch Albom - cried tons!  haaaai.
51 The Catcher in the Rye - J.D Salinger
52 Eragon - Christopher Paolini
53 Eat, Pray, Love - Elizabeth Gilbert - GREATEST READ yet.  Liz Gilbert is courageous.  This book made me cry and think and be more thankful.
54 It's Not About The Bike - Lance Armstrong
55 A Tale of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
56 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
57 The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho
58 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
59 A Fortunate Life - A.B. Facey
60 The Mists of Avalon - Marion Zimmer Bradley
61 The Notebook -Nicholas Sparks - cried nanaman..
62 Water For Elephants - Sara Gruen
63 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
64 The Host - Stephenie Meyer
65 Dirt Music - Tim Winton
66 Eldest - Christopher Paolini
67 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
68 It - Stephen King
69 World Without End - Ken Follett
70 Emma - Jane Austen - clueless was kind of based in this novel.  I liked cher better than emma. hahaha
71 Temple - Matthew Reilly
72 Little Women - Alcott Louisa May - definitely a fave.  Reminds me of my sisters..both biological and chosen-by-heart sisters. ♥  ITs about sisterhood, family and friends.
73 Lean Mean Thirteen - Janet Evanovich
74 Scarecrow - Matthew Reilly
75 American Gods - Neil Gaiman
76 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
77 P.S, I Love You - Cecelia Ahern
78 All That Remains - Patricia Cornwell
79 The Last Lecture - Randy Pausch
80 Past Secrets - Cathy Kelly
81 The Persimmon Tree - Bryce Courtenay
82 Husband - Dean Koontz
83 Plain Truth - Jodi Picoult
84 Wicked - Gregory Maguire
85 Spot Of Bother - Mark Haddon
86 Always And Forever - Cathy Kelly
87 The Road - Cormac McCarthy
88 Cents & Sensibility - Maggie Alderson
89 Me Talk Pretty One Day - David Sedaris  Witty!
90 The Shifting Fog - Kate Morton
91 We Need To Talk About Kevin - Lionel Shriver
92 Everyone Worth Knowing - Lauren Weisberger
93 Hour Game - David Baldacci
94 Darkly Dreaming Dexter - Jeff Lindsay
95 The Woods - Harlan Coben
96 Half of a Yellow Sun - Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
97 Middlesex - Jeffrey Eugenides
98 Scar Tissue - Anthony Kiedis
99 Infidel - Ayaan Hirsi Ali
100 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks

I am now reading Cecilia Ahern's Thanks for the memories..I just started.. lets see how it goes..

Something I'm sure I will NOT do!

Last week Noel went bungy jumping.. Look how brave he is!  Woohoo!

CrazyFriends

I just realized how intense kme magkwento magf-friends about our other friends to each other thanks to Myls and Ron. hahaha

Last Wed i got a text message from Clang.. it read:
"nksby ko c ron kanina sa elevator.  Muntik ko ng batiin tas naalala ko d nga pla kme frnds.haha.Klala ko lng xa bec of the photos. gnyt."

Kinwento ko kay Myls. Ntawa sha.. I remember telling her before when the girls and i were in greenbelt, i saw B'ley, na muntik ko na rin batiin. hahaha.  Nalowka yata c Myls samen.. Pero mas naloka sha when kinwento ko c Chuck and Chai, who never met before and only knew each other from my kwentos and pics.

One slow sat afternoon.. bumaba c Chuck sa lobby ng PS, c Chai was there waiting for her former boss who also worked in PS.. (no silly, not me. hahaha)  Nagkatinginan cla.. d nila alam gagawin.. tapos nagsmile-an! tpos cnabe na i think ni chuck.."sabihan ko c Gian andito ka.." (PANALO!)

C Chuck pag-akyat sabi saken.. "Gi, anjan c Chai sa baba, nagsmilan kme parang gago d naman kame magkakilala! hahaha."

I miss chuck.  I miss videoke with him. Chuckers pagbalik mo uminom tayo ng todo.. yung tipong gagapang na ko pauwi! hahaha.

I guess this could be the reason why I always forget to introduce my friends to each other.. hahaha I mean, i oftentimes assume na they already know each other.. Like what happened kay Clang and Myls.. sorry super crazy tlga ko most of the time that even if i make a mental note, wala pa rin..  hahaha (baka makalusot lng)
-----------------------------

I wrote this post friday night.. less than 3 hours after writing this i got a text msg from Sunny.. "lets go out tom.. Chuck is here."  HAHAHA.  I saw Chuck yesterday.. he came home for the weekend.. d kame gumapang pauwi sa kalasingan.. mas marami pang kwento kesa alcohol.. actually mas marami pang kape!  CHUCK NAMISS KITA!  It was nice seeing you again.  Labshoons. HUGS.

Juice-ko pow!

I just had to share a part of my chat with Noel.. Natawa lng ako.. You gotta love him! ♥

[18:22] noel: ang stiff ng juice
[18:22] noel: walang apple
[18:22] noel: ulk
[18:22] gian: ano nijuice mo?
[18:22] noel: calahating apple lang
[18:22] noel: celery, ampalaya, bell pepper, cucumber
[18:22] noel: carrots
[18:23] noel: and calahating apple
[18:23] gian: yuuuuuuuuuck
[18:23] noel: i feel so healthy
[18:23] gian: sana nagchopsuey ka na lng