I cant believe it is Monday again.  I am very much not ready for it.  I haven't even made sense of all the things that happened last week then here comes Monday wanting to start again.  I've had a crazy exhausting week to say the least.  I was so exhausted I found myself crying several times because there's really nothing else I could do.  I was physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted.  I AM EXHAUSTED.

I felt taken advantage of. I felt duped. It wasn't a fun feeling to have and to add to that there are some weird things on the side. Sad and weird.  Why does it have to be so complicated all the time?  

I am tired and I haven't yet recovered from the disaster that is my life last week.  And now Minday is here - how fun. 

Dad's 65th

Last week was my dad's 65th birthday. To celebrate, my sibs and I arranged a small suprise swimming party for him.  This actually kills two birds because we get to celebrate his birthday and the kids are able to cool-off and swim some. 

It wasn't very easy to pull this off since all of us have work and we are really very bad in keeping secret and arranging things but by God's glory we are able to pull it off.  It was awesome and fun and worth it.  

Link for the surprise video! :). 

here are some pictures! 

                    Going to the venue

               Daddy's gift! Murphy :)

                   With Ga and Mac

      Daddy with Me and Jan and Lucas

      With the sibs, nieces and nephews

                     Family Picture!!

Ugh

and sometimes loneliness hits you so bad it is not even funny. That feeling that something should be happening but nothing is.  That heavy but not really feeling in the pit of your tummy? That feeling that won't ever go away no matter how hard you try to breathe it out?  

That feeling is here with me now.  And no matter how hard I try to shake it, its here.  Such a stupid feeling to have.  

Answered Prayers

Sometimes, despite good reason I do and feel things that I  know I shouldn’t.  To make excuses is easy, but the heart knows and believe me the mind would not shut-up about the truth. So I talk.  I talk to myself.  I try to reason and argue until I can’t anymore, because I can’t even win an argument with myself.  I seek help.  I call a friend – or two, to hash it out.  I listen and try to put reason to action.  But I fail most of the time because it’s just really too difficult.

Then I pray.  My heart sometimes does this even before my brain.  It would cry out so no matter how difficult it is, the sweet misery would be taken away.  Then God, the universe, fate would make things happen.  It actually makes it possible to do what needs to be done.  A situation will present itself that would make it easy for me to just do it.  And sometimes it is bitter-sweet. But as all answered prayers are, it is really not how we expected it and we just have to receive and be grateful.