Timing. Such a tricky thing. Why does it seem like every single thing needs the perfect timing? Today, for the past few days actually, it felt like I have missed some very crucial moments. Moments I will not get back. Gone forever. And I am here typing this and wondering, what kept you from saying it then? And then I sigh. 

Truth about Truth

We always say that truth would set us free, but what we often times forget is that it can also be heartbreaking and messy.  We think we are okay with everything but we are wrong because emotions can be tricky things.  We may tell ourselves repeatedly that some stuff doesn't matter and that we will live but really it will crush us first - crush us like a bug.

Truth is awesome.  But sometimes, it just you punches square in the face and you can't do anything but walk away with your bloody broken nose.

Beach, Beach

I do not particularly like beaches, but in Cebu you really can't avoid them. :)  I didn't go into the water but these are just some of the pictures I took because I couldn't help myself.  They are just too beautiful.

Movenpick Hotel

Abaca Resort

Shangrila Hotel

White Sands Resort and Spa

Eating My Way Through Cebu

Our office sent me to Cebu to hire and train a new member for my team.  Where I stayed is located in a totally different island from the main city, so I am only able to go walk about the city during the weekend.  I am actually not a beach person, so I didn't go "beaching"- but that scene is really good too!

So here are some pictures of the things I ate :)  Some of these pictures are already posted in Instagram. 

There were a lot of seafood everywhere!  For lunch when I first got there, we went to a seaside restaurant where we ordered baked scallops, grilled fish and shrimps!

my first meal - lunch.

For the first time in my life, I lived all by myself.  So i ate a lot of ramen and spam and crackers.  I loved it too. :D

spamwich

My favorite place I went to would be Bucket Shrimp!  Pails of shrimp in cajun sauce. Need I say more?

yuuuuum!

In IT Park, there are a lot of really good restaurants.  Kiko and I went to Irie Gastropubliko, where we got really yummy burger.

Chile Chicano Burger

Breakfast as we all know, is the most important meal of the day; and so I did a lot of breakfast eating - buffet style in Cebu.  Movenpick is my favorite.  The place is nice and the food good.

look at that stack of bacon! *drools*

Italian food?  We went to La Tegola.  Authentic Italian and price point is reasonable.

Spaghetti al Cartoccio and Quattro Formaggi

Another buffet restaurant we went to is Tokyo Table.  Asian fusion food - hot plate for Korean Barbecue and a bunch of other choices.  It was okay but they have the most delicious Maki Crunch.  I can eat the entire display! :S

japanese rolls is heart

Abaca Boutique Resort and Restaurant is simply beautiful.  The place is great and the food is super yummy but it is a bit pricey.

Roasted Prawn Spaghetti

Creme Brulee

I ate a lot of Cebu yummy treats too!

Carcar Chicharon that were just cooked! 

Puso: Rice cooked in banana leaf.

thats me and my friends excited for the yummy spicy lechon belly!

And of cours, dessert!!!  Ice Cream, always. :)  I wanna eat all the flavors in Texas Creamery.

Kookie Dough

Krazy Kolors

 
And Oreo Madness from TGI Fridays. :)

Truth is I've so much to write about. I've yet to blog about my stint in Cebu and the places I have visited there like a whirlwind. I also want to write about my latest visit to the National Museum - walking about in Manila. 

I will have to carve time and sit and actually put to paper - or type to screen my thoughts. But for now, I have quite a bit of things to do. :( 

It is Monday afternoon and I should really sleep. But my mind is going haywire again about so many things. I am exhausted from overthinking.  I need to just stop but how do I do that?  How do I escape my own head? Ugh.

then it hits you. it hits you so hard it feels like you just got ran over by a car. and it backed up and ran you over again. 

Tonight.

Tonight more than any other days, I am thankful for friends and family.  In two short days, my sister is flying out of the country.  It is just for a year, but that is still  a long time.  I will miss her.  I will probably cry when we drive her to the airport but tonight I am going to sleep with a thankful heart.  Thankful for friends and family and that way that they bleed into each other. 

My life lately through my iPhone pictures

Just some pictures from my iPhone. :)

waiting for Chai during dinner

when life serves crazy, get your crazy friends and sit down for coffee

yes, breakfast with friends is always awesome!

waiting for table during dinner

their turn :)

Gracie brought her intax and we kinda went crazy.

booth.

running into Owen in Salcedo Market! :D

on our way to Saturday Market

friends and coffee

going to Divi with sisters and Mac

after two shifts, its time to hash it out with friends :D

Monday.

I cant believe it is Monday again.  I am very much not ready for it.  I haven't even made sense of all the things that happened last week then here comes Monday wanting to start again.  I've had a crazy exhausting week to say the least.  I was so exhausted I found myself crying several times because there's really nothing else I could do.  I was physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted.  I AM EXHAUSTED.

I felt taken advantage of. I felt duped. It wasn't a fun feeling to have and to add to that there are some weird things on the side. Sad and weird.  Why does it have to be so complicated all the time?  

I am tired and I haven't yet recovered from the disaster that is my life last week.  And now Minday is here - how fun. 

Dad's 65th

Last week was my dad's 65th birthday. To celebrate, my sibs and I arranged a small suprise swimming party for him.  This actually kills two birds because we get to celebrate his birthday and the kids are able to cool-off and swim some. 

It wasn't very easy to pull this off since all of us have work and we are really very bad in keeping secret and arranging things but by God's glory we are able to pull it off.  It was awesome and fun and worth it.  

Link for the surprise video! :). 

here are some pictures! 

                    Going to the venue

               Daddy's gift! Murphy :)

                   With Ga and Mac

      Daddy with Me and Jan and Lucas

      With the sibs, nieces and nephews

                     Family Picture!!

Ugh

and sometimes loneliness hits you so bad it is not even funny. That feeling that something should be happening but nothing is.  That heavy but not really feeling in the pit of your tummy? That feeling that won't ever go away no matter how hard you try to breathe it out?  

That feeling is here with me now.  And no matter how hard I try to shake it, its here.  Such a stupid feeling to have.  

Answered Prayers

Sometimes, despite good reason I do and feel things that I  know I shouldn’t.  To make excuses is easy, but the heart knows and believe me the mind would not shut-up about the truth. So I talk.  I talk to myself.  I try to reason and argue until I can’t anymore, because I can’t even win an argument with myself.  I seek help.  I call a friend – or two, to hash it out.  I listen and try to put reason to action.  But I fail most of the time because it’s just really too difficult.

Then I pray.  My heart sometimes does this even before my brain.  It would cry out so no matter how difficult it is, the sweet misery would be taken away.  Then God, the universe, fate would make things happen.  It actually makes it possible to do what needs to be done.  A situation will present itself that would make it easy for me to just do it.  And sometimes it is bitter-sweet. But as all answered prayers are, it is really not how we expected it and we just have to receive and be grateful.

Life thru my iPhone Pictures

 

So yeah, I've been pretty lazy in writing.  And I won't make any lame excuses.  I have nothing except I try but I am just always drawing blank. 

But here are some pictures I have from my phone characterizing my life as of late..

Ga and Chai during one of our pit stops going to Manaoag.

Joma, Kobe and Vins being silly in the gym

Jermaine cutiepatootie posing for me after cupcake time :)

Sisters ❤️❤️❤️

Vins, Marl and I showing our teef. :p

Hmmm. Doing this post made me realize I do not take as much pictures as I used to.  But I know I have tons of videos.  Maybe I can post some here once I am able to upload them all on vimeo. :) 

Ways to Know if You're Growing Up - Or not.

I used to keep a blog over at multiply. A blog that I have taken down long ago, but I was looking over my mail archives and saw some notifications from my posts before.  It is fun reading about my old self and realizing I have changed very little since. That could be a bad thing, no?

Anywho, on March 16, 2009 i posted this.

One of my favorite blogs to read is The Wild and Wily Ways of a Brunette Bombshell.  In her archives, she posted an entry entitled 9 ways I know I'm growing uP.  It Caught my attention because the first one was, 1. I've given up soda. Not entirely, but almost.  I love it.  I shared this with a friend who also liked the post and asked me what would be my 9 ways. As usual it made me think.  Wala akong maisip kahit isa.  I’m resigned to the idea that I may not be grown up yet.  I have a lot more growing up to do I guess.  A LOT MORE!

But this wonderful friend that I have amazingly wrote his 9 Ways in less than 6 mins.  Grabe noh?!  After he finishes typing his answers isa lang ang nasabi ko: shet grown-up ka na nga!  With his permission.. Instead of mine, I am posting HIS 9 Ways he knows he's growing up.
 1. I become more realistic than idealistic
2. I become less self-conscious
3. I only mind people who matter
4. I learn to forgive
5. I let go of my convictions if I'm given a more logical reason to believe otherwise
6. I gave up my vices- soda, cigs, pork, beef.  Meaning I live a lot healthier with proper diet and exercise
7.  I spend less on clothes and more on things that will enrich my experience like traveling
8. I earn more and get to share more
9. I laugh at my old self and realize how I like what I have become over the years.
And so.. while I type this, hindi pa rin ako nakakaisip but I am not  in a hurry.  I wish i could answer the question as fast as he can.  Pero hindi I can't eh.  Not yet, i guess.  But It'll come to me.  I know it.

This totally made me think again! Golly, how do I know if I am growing up.. it had been 5 years and I haven't gotten around to making my list.  I have been racking my brain and nothing. So yeah, here's a list of ways I am still a big baby.

1.  I am scared shitless of change. I dont like the fact that things can change in a heartbeat. It makes me uneasy. 
2. I do not like confrontations.  I find myself doing things that aren't my responsibility because I'd rather finish it than confront people about their inefficiencie.
3. I overthink. All the time.

There's probably a million and one more ways to prove am a baby but I am cutting this list short. Yes. Yes I am.

Today.

I hate hate hate the fact that despite my good reason, I still get affected by things that I have for real no control over. 

Today, something happened that trully made me want to scream. I felt hurt. Then immediately felt stupid for feeling hurt. I should be wiser and tougher and ultimately unaffected - but I wasnt, unfortunately. 

Tomorrow will be another day. I guess.

Life Update

I am currently taking a short break from work to write this down because I am getting a massive headache.  I know I know. I have been a bit of an MIA again.  I know you know I will say it is because life has again taken over everything.  I have no excuse.  I wish I can write more.  I do, only for the simple reason that it gives me an outlet to breathe out all of the things that have been building up inside of me - good, bad and ugly. 

Life has been pretty good the last couple of weeks.  Some days were even awesome. I have been spending time with friends which is sweet because for awhile there I was totally becoming anti-social. :p. As you know Z came home for a short visit. That was fun.  Got to spend time with her and Clang and our other friends from PS.

Marl, Gracie and I with some more friends caught Wicked! It was amazing!!  Everything was perfect, I am so glad I was able to see it. :) 

I have been spending time with Noel and Kiko too.  Just going to movies and a quick drive to Tagaytay. 

There was just a slight hospital scare for a bit. Last week, my dad got rushed to the hospital after passing out in Church.  He stayed for a week but all is good now.  There are still tests but I'm sure everything will be alright.  We drove to Manaoag for thanksgiving that my dad is well and healed. 

Here are some pics from the Manaoag Trip. 

So, that is pretty much everything I have been up to.  Will write more soon- crossing-fingers. :)